How this works is that I will print out an A4 version of the Fabergé Eggs cover and then place a real 7" single (TV Party by Black Flag - it was taking too long to find my original choice - A Gigantic Raft in the Philippines by It's Immaterial - as it happens) over the image and draw carefully around it. Then I will get the big blue scissors from the kitchen and cut out the 7" image. Next I will coat the picture with a generous layer of PVA glue. When the glue is starting to dry a little I will expertly draw a fine toothed hair comb round the surface in a perfect circular motion to create the record grooves. (This will mean I will not be able to comb my hair ever again - no great loss). When it has dried I will write the lyrics to Faberge Eggs on the other side in coloured pen and then I will put it in an envelope and post it to you. You can play it yourself to prove that it is, indeed, unplayable or you can get one of those DIY clock kits and turn it into a delightful wall clock, although as it is also a flexi disk it may have a slightly floppy, Salvador Dali-esque vibe. I remember as a child seeing a Toyah picture disc clock, you don't forget something like that.

Includes unlimited streaming of Fabergé Eggs via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.